The Businessman Has No Clothes

Cast:
Andrew Phelps (announcer);  Michael Diehl (businessman);
Hope Holland (1st bag lady);  Sharon Clausen (2nd bag lady);
Tom Harkins (clinical psychologist);  Doug Murphy (homeless man)

  beginning

Announcer describes Responsibility and Homeless Street Behavior theme

  middle

Announcer introduces Scene I

Scene I. [Andrew, Michael, Hope, Sharon]

Two bag ladies are doing "the homeless thing"

The businessman walks past. He's not wearing any clothes

Announcer says to note how well the businessman is dressed.

1st bag lady takes responsibility [!] and says, "The businessman has no clothes."

2nd bag lady says, "Shhhh! You will get in trouble talking like that."

Scene II. [Andrew, Hope, Tom, Michael, Doug]

Announcer says 1st bag lady was 5150'd and is now being treated by a clinical psychologist

Psychologist says to bag lady that she has been diagnosed with "Veridical Outcomes Assessment Syndrome." She needs to learn to conceal socially undesirable truths (LIE).

Psychologist describes program of behavior management which will treat this. Says his psychiatric associate has prescribed the

"Diss-Tort"

pill and describes the [ugly] side effects. Insists that this is "not torture" and is "good for you." Describes behavior management regime to be applied [!] again not torture which will produce "appropriate behavior." Says this exemplifies true compassion.

1st bag lady looks frightened and disconsolate.

Psychologist repeats several times, "Compliance is ethics." "Compliance is ethics"

Enter businessman and homeless man. They are carrying signs that say "Compliance is Ethics."

Businessman says emphatically, "I am very well dressed"

Scene III. [Andrew, Hope, Sharon, Doug]

Announcer explains that 1st bag lady has been "successfully treated" and is now "back on the street" but is trained to LIE.

Two bag ladies and homeless man do "the homeless thing."

Suddenly 1st bag lady looks up. A look goes into her face as she "snaps out of it." She takes a handful of beauty path flyers and starts passing them out to the audience. First the 2nd bag lady, then the homeless man join her in passing out flyers

The entire cast joins the bag ladies, passing out beauty path flyers

  end

The skit dissolves into mingling with the audience